"Then Jesus told his disciples this parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up."
Luke 18:1
There it is again...persistent prayer. It has come up quite often in my Bible reading and devotions lately.
Every time I've read or heard that theme in these past few weeks, I think of the prayers I've sent heavenward on my Mom's behalf. I'll admit that I've entertained thoughts of giving up. Maybe this is just the way it will be - a slow but steady decline until Mom meets Jesus.
Deep down inside I don't think that's the case. Another theme that keeps appearing in my Bible reading time is that with God all things are possible. I've learned over the years that repetions like this are God's means of communicating with us in a very personal way.
In the parable, a widow keeps coming to a judge seeking justice. The judge ignores her requests for some time. But finally he decides to obtain justice for her, not because he thinks the woman deserves it, but because he's tired of being bothered with her pleas.
Jesus applies the parable saying, "Listen to what the unjust judge says. And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off?" Luke 18:6-7
The answer is a resounding "No!"
Jane L. Fryar writes in Today's Light:
Think of it! You are His chosen one in Christ Jesus. Your heavenly Father himself
will hear your case, not some uncaring stranger. He's invited, even commanded, you
to petition His court. Go ahead; cry out to Him day and night! Bring your needs, your
hurts, your sins to Him. He will hear. He will help. He will forgive.
(Today's Light, Vol. 6, No. 4, Concordia Publishing House, St. Louis, MO, p.15)
So, I will keep praying. I will keep asking my heavenly Father for a way for Mom to be released from the shackles of Paxil. And I will trust that he will do what is best in his perfect time.
Friday, July 13, 2012
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
The First Signs
"He hears what he wants to hear."
"He has selective hearing."
I've heard quite a few women make these kinds of remarks, especially about their spouses. My mom was no exception. If Dad was engrossed in one of his favorite sports telecasts, she was probably right. However...
Two or three years before my dad died, when Mom would complain about Dad's selective hearing, I found myself thinking But sometimes you're worse than he is. I remember feeling frustration when I'd be telling her something and before long I'd realize that she wasn't listening. It really got to me when she'd ask me a question, and while I was answering it she'd walk away. With annoyance I'd say to myself, "I can't believe you're being so rude. Why did you ask if you weren't going to listen to the answer?" Sometimes these conversations took place while we were preparing a meal so I shoved my irritation aside thinking Mom was just preoccupied with the tasks at hand.
Years later, after doing research into anticholinergic medications it hit me. It wasn't rudeness at all. It was a side effect of the Paxil (Paroxetine). The timing was right. She hadn't always been that way. These behaviors were something new. Anticholinergic drugs can cause inattentiveness and distractibility - among a host of other side effects of which Mom has experienced quite a few.
If we had only known then what we know now, things could be different. When these signs first appeared, Mom maybe could have gotten weaned off the Paxil more easily since she hadn't been on it all that long. Her memory and cognitive abilities may not have deteriorated to where they are now.
We can't undo the past. We need to focus on the present and plan for the future. That will involve more research and above all, more prayer. I haven't given up hope that God will provide a way for Mom to be set free from the shackles of Paxil.
"He has selective hearing."
I've heard quite a few women make these kinds of remarks, especially about their spouses. My mom was no exception. If Dad was engrossed in one of his favorite sports telecasts, she was probably right. However...
Two or three years before my dad died, when Mom would complain about Dad's selective hearing, I found myself thinking But sometimes you're worse than he is. I remember feeling frustration when I'd be telling her something and before long I'd realize that she wasn't listening. It really got to me when she'd ask me a question, and while I was answering it she'd walk away. With annoyance I'd say to myself, "I can't believe you're being so rude. Why did you ask if you weren't going to listen to the answer?" Sometimes these conversations took place while we were preparing a meal so I shoved my irritation aside thinking Mom was just preoccupied with the tasks at hand.
Years later, after doing research into anticholinergic medications it hit me. It wasn't rudeness at all. It was a side effect of the Paxil (Paroxetine). The timing was right. She hadn't always been that way. These behaviors were something new. Anticholinergic drugs can cause inattentiveness and distractibility - among a host of other side effects of which Mom has experienced quite a few.
If we had only known then what we know now, things could be different. When these signs first appeared, Mom maybe could have gotten weaned off the Paxil more easily since she hadn't been on it all that long. Her memory and cognitive abilities may not have deteriorated to where they are now.
We can't undo the past. We need to focus on the present and plan for the future. That will involve more research and above all, more prayer. I haven't given up hope that God will provide a way for Mom to be set free from the shackles of Paxil.
Saturday, July 7, 2012
The Journey Begins
"When I get big and you get little..."
About 20 years ago I heard my nephew say this to his parents.
And I thought I was the only child who thought it worked that way - that as time went on the parent and child roles would be reversed. Little did I know then how much truth there was in that line of thinking. No, parents don't shrink down to the size my nephew was when he spoke those words. But, I'm now seeing how much the roles of parents and children do reverse as parents age. I imagine that this is especially true when the parent is experiencing memory loss as is the case with my mom.
Now I'm the one making the appointments. I'm the one doing the chauffering. I'm the one offering advice on diet and keeping healthy. I'm the one giving the reminders to take a bath. I'm the one keeping everything on the calendar straight.
The sad thing is, I believe my mom's memory loss could have been avoided. From the research I've done, I am quite certain that her memory issues are a side effect of the Paxil she has been on for about 8 years now. With this blog I'm hoping to chronicle some of the events in our journey and make people aware of the risks involved with this and other medications. I'm sure if Mom had known 8 years ago where life on Paxil was going to take her, she would have found other ways to deal with her sleeping difficulties and low blood sugar issues.
Do those conditions cause you wonder Why was someone with low blood sugar and sleeping issues put on Paxil? When I found out what Paxil was, I wondered that myself. I distinctly remember visiting my parents some months after they had moved to a new community. They had recently had their first appoinments with their new doctor. Mom was telling me about her doctor visit and said, "He gave me some medicine to help me sleep better and to help with my low blood sugar." I didn't question it at the time, but in hindsight I sure wish I had. We have tried twice to wean her off of the medication. But Paxil is notorious for being extremely difficult to discontinue. I keep praying that we will find a way to wean her off of it.
So that's where this journey of ours started. Where will it end? Time will tell. In the meatime, we keep our eyes on Jesus who is carrying us through and guiding our steps along the way. He has his reasons for allowing my mom to go through this. Maybe it is so we can reach out to others. If her story helps just one person avoid the challenges she had faced, it will be worth it.
About 20 years ago I heard my nephew say this to his parents.
And I thought I was the only child who thought it worked that way - that as time went on the parent and child roles would be reversed. Little did I know then how much truth there was in that line of thinking. No, parents don't shrink down to the size my nephew was when he spoke those words. But, I'm now seeing how much the roles of parents and children do reverse as parents age. I imagine that this is especially true when the parent is experiencing memory loss as is the case with my mom.
Now I'm the one making the appointments. I'm the one doing the chauffering. I'm the one offering advice on diet and keeping healthy. I'm the one giving the reminders to take a bath. I'm the one keeping everything on the calendar straight.
The sad thing is, I believe my mom's memory loss could have been avoided. From the research I've done, I am quite certain that her memory issues are a side effect of the Paxil she has been on for about 8 years now. With this blog I'm hoping to chronicle some of the events in our journey and make people aware of the risks involved with this and other medications. I'm sure if Mom had known 8 years ago where life on Paxil was going to take her, she would have found other ways to deal with her sleeping difficulties and low blood sugar issues.
Do those conditions cause you wonder Why was someone with low blood sugar and sleeping issues put on Paxil? When I found out what Paxil was, I wondered that myself. I distinctly remember visiting my parents some months after they had moved to a new community. They had recently had their first appoinments with their new doctor. Mom was telling me about her doctor visit and said, "He gave me some medicine to help me sleep better and to help with my low blood sugar." I didn't question it at the time, but in hindsight I sure wish I had. We have tried twice to wean her off of the medication. But Paxil is notorious for being extremely difficult to discontinue. I keep praying that we will find a way to wean her off of it.
So that's where this journey of ours started. Where will it end? Time will tell. In the meatime, we keep our eyes on Jesus who is carrying us through and guiding our steps along the way. He has his reasons for allowing my mom to go through this. Maybe it is so we can reach out to others. If her story helps just one person avoid the challenges she had faced, it will be worth it.
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